suck my (appen)dix

if we could separate meaning from truth
or
vice versa
we might be able to analyze your
faults
as minuscule as you
think they are
lying
gets the best of you
your accomplishments mean nothing
nothing.
if they only please you,
and you
alone
how is that happiness?
when eventually, your cruelty
catches you and has you
in it's grasp, and is thrashing you
within an inch of your life
don't
look to me to be your lifeline.

ill be on shore, but ill be too far.
too little
too late.

hope you enjoy what you've become.
hope you enjoy what you've created.


released

I've been calling you for five days now.
everything
is gone.
you've cleaned out house and home.
home and heart.
i've come full circle.
just to end up back in your hands.
it's time to leave again.
nothing good comes of this.
nitpicking
and
panicking.
erstwhile, i sat
alone.
and today, I begin
anew.

my spleen, my spleen

chivalry is dead.
i know,
because it died
in your
grasp
you stand guard,
attentive and focused
ready to pounce
on any flaw or mistake
and for what?
for something
unfufilling?
for dashed dreams?
you can stand, as still as possible.
you can be a guard. for what gain?
sorry my love,
but you need to live.
wake up.
dream.

matarodian


i have decided to retire from this fight.
i am putting my guard down.
they may ask, what happened?
what is the cause?
as such, ill regress, and never answer.
i've given up the quest for flight.

for, i'd rather spend my days chasing dreams
then stand alone, in this lighthouse
alone, atop the coast
waiting for you to return to me.

the passion has faded.
the wine is gone.
and like the moon, i shall remain in your life, detached and away.
alone, but never truly alone.

i'll still watch. ill return, but
all the while, i'll be alone.

don't patronize me with your concern.
leave, and don't speak.
it's better this way.
it's right

touche, mr toupee

all your conversations do
speak,stop.listen.groan.repeat.ignore
is steer my thoughts
into endless loops of possiblities and plausible concerns
i recall reading those letters you sent me
the remarkable smile on your face, the wound opening
revealing not only your cowardice, but the remarkable grace in which
you carry it.
the same nights go by
and the same dreams die.

if you allow yourself to be bought and sold
by cunning witless ignorance
then your life will remain
as a ship, lost at sea.
without a crew. without a plan.
is it still a voyage if you drift
lifelessly? the listless silence
droning
your beautiul eyes out of this picture.

party time

he's cute. his smile is gold
his intentions are malicious.
you don't or wont recognize that however
you cant see past that beauty
you and your palpable personality
is bandaged and makeshift
you get as far as you give.
retrating back to the graveyard
for a few moments of hollow passion, and meaningless pleasure
at least you tell yourself
the god you serve
and the faith you chase
look stunning
and you continue you continue you continue...
this meaningless journey.

goatface killlaah!

one day

that lark is beautiful.

Ha! Beautiful you say? How can it be beautiful?
For it knows not the joys of playing the harp, or tasting the finest wine
or appreciate the sight of sunlight in your face.

Yes, it's content, but at what sacrifice?
To not know of the joys which you bring me?

Beautiful my friend, it is not.

For what you consider beauty,
I consider a curse.

1.6

Every cold greeting
every waking morning
every breath, fought out of the air
for me to own, and to hold

i appreciate the difficulty. nothing easy
ever came without a fight.
like two lovers under a silent winter moon
not speaking, but being.

close your mouth, for once. for once.
not for me but yourself.
eyes tell more then you ever could.
or would even begin to know.

just promise me this, i am all you'll ever be.
and if you leave, let me keep these winter nights.

airships

I should be asleep
but instead im reading about japanese literature
i guess it's my way of leaving here
i need a vacation.

im overworked, underpayed, and underappreciated. would it kill to write me a letter from time to time?

remember last september? it was fall, and the sky was dying above us?

we drove for miles, alone in the world. no one knew we existed.

and we wouldn't of had it any other way. Fall nights, with the smells
and the coldness of night, you brought warmth to us.

I didnt see you. After that, everything, the feeling, evaporated.

I waved goodbye, but you kept your eyes closed.

I still imagine your face.e
xit