i should wear clogs.

the only way i ever truly know you exist
is by the fingerprints you leave
on
my frost covered window.

Let's spend a weekend on the moon babe.

(This is actually a work in progress, I feel like I can fix it up, to make it better. But until then, enjoy these WTF' proses, because, well they suck. But i try!)



Soak.
I want to touch your inner self,
See You. Vibrant as the ocean
to lay with you, worry free.
to help myself, to feast upon your complexities

Basically.
I want to know you inside and out.
I want to know what sand feels like on your thigh.
or what the summer wind looks like as it rustles through your hair.
I appreciate simplicity,
I appreciate your skin.

I want to dive in.
I want to feel your cool.

Bluer Skis.

Where has my mother been?
To teach me how to love.
how to care, how to adore.
raised instead by a flickering light
from the box.
to the street light, shining on in the distance.
a constant constant.
tripping over my own two feet, trying to get home.
street lights, let me know im home.
street lights. my stars, shining, showing.
showing me the way home.
I am content.
I am still looking for a purpose.

Bible Studies Are Great Places To Pick Up Chicks.

I am drunk with this cursed tongue!
but still I cry out, to sing, to serve.
to plead endlessly for your praise.
I am waiting out the winds!
but still, I am not free.

My Senior Thesis Is About Ovaltine.

This strip of mauseleoms disgusts me.
diverging in these catacombs.
in the still of the night.

for what? to satisfy.
to fill us, to excite.
looking for anything, anything
to let us know we're alive.

is the life you want to lead unfit for this town?
escape, escape in plainview.
no one shall contest,
instead planning thier own pity party.

is the way you want to lead your life
not up to this towns accord?

escape, escape in plainview.
no one shall contest
let the interstate devour you up.
let the interstate lap you up like a beast.

All These Roads... they are Black.

think dull existence
think, not being allowed.
instead manufactured
fixed, grew.

your going to have your dreams.
but unless you leave, they wont mean
shit.
but instead, tonight, let us dance.

smoke stacks linger at the mouth of the beast
powering this damned machine.
and being our lighthouse to the world.

we were dully talking,
sipping coffee and exchanging pleasentries.
but the dust is seeping in now.
your eyes are being cut from seeing.
your mouth will be next.

a fitting ending.

It's ok girls.

I know every single girl, no matter her best intentions, is guilty of infidelity at some point.

I don't care if you've been with someone for 2 years, or 2 months, there will always be that "better" guy out there, that one guy who is EVERYTHING your sweet, charming, loving boyfriend isn't...

but you like that.

Or when your boyfriend needs to get something from either your room, or your car, or even look on your computer, and you give him the ok to, until you realize that him going to any one of those places could expose your infidelity to him.

But its ok. Im used to it, and Im cool with it. I mean, if I had a girlfriend or anything, and I knew about the "other" guy, then I'd be cool with it, as long as you still date me. You can look but don't touch.

And Im cool with that... I think.

If I wrote the OC.

I'd have them all die, in a multi-colored tour bus. They'd fall off the road, and crash down a hill, into the ocean. Then the remnants of the car and the survivors will float on. (lol modest mouse roffle)

That way, the writers of Lost can write the characters of the OC into the show, and the television viewers of America, all win!

The restraining order says no no, but her eyes say yes yes.

I haven't bitched in a long time, so I might as well do it now.

The fake gangsters in this town make me sick. Sick to the point of vomiting on myself, and others.

Seriously.

I guess I missed the memo. I guess the shittier the car you drive, and the more you cock your hat to the side, the more gangster you are.

Fuck that. This is fucking Joliet. J-O-L-I-E-T. We just got a new baseball statdium. We have a catholic school that wins football titles. We are suburban

The kids I know that act gangster make it worse. What the fuck are you going to do, cruise Black road and stare at the old people that are driving in thier mini-vans? Are you going to chill at McDonalds and toss out mean looks?

Seriously fake gangster kids, kill yourself.

Any fine girls want to play Battleship this weekend?

Your knocking at my door,
but i see no footprints in the snowwwwww
how did you get here? to never ask is to never know

Aloe Vera Gel, eh eh?

I only like blogspot because of it's snooty pretentiousness. Please 13 year olds, refrain from getting one.

the way your lips curve over your teeth
when you smile, convinces me that
you could charm the moon.
and it's suprising considering the razor sharp demon contained
within the face
but if anything could cause pyramids to crumble
and rivers to flow blood
it'd be you and that cruel smile.
taunting me from afar, and presenting an impossible task

bless me with those hands, you snake charmer you.

Girls: A Case Study Vol I

Whats' puzzling is how girls can go crazy and expose themselves over something as simple as plastic beads.... and I can't even get a girl to give me the time of day.

Such is life.

not fit for a title, simply a piece

all you boys, with your flavored little toys
and your aspirations to be diferent
all in all you all fit together
you all completley the same
in your thematic diferences

and your anger spills out
and your life plays out like a greek tragedy
and like a nobel figure dying before a flock of followers
your fall is regarded with pomp and circumsance

but you know you mean well, and you know you do
but trying so hard to be different
just makes you that much more like everyone else
because everyone else wants what you want
youth.

Make It Last

Where did we leave our courage?
in this age of desolation
check it by the wayside
and put your blinders on

ignore everything dull and atypical
we yearn for the mundane
fill our mouths so that we our full!
fill my head and tell me what to think
to do, to buy

and it's all about the shine on our car
and it's all about how good we look
and it's all about us

So sit comfortably in your mediocrity
and defame those who aspire
and decry those who hope
discuss the changes in all your pretentiousness
i think im going to fucking choke.


and we'll never get out of here (yeah)
we'll never get out
and we'll never ever get out of here

we'll never

Write one about Gilbert Areanas.

oh agent zero, how i love thee
slicing the court and all who oppose you
with swift and furious movmenets
like a panther, toiling in the underbrush of an humid african jungle
waiting, with quiet dexterity you strike
CONGRATS YOU MADE THE ALLSTAR GAME

Bazooka.

Triple X Throwdown

snow consumed me.
i was in the belly of a beast
and with an guttural roar
he swallowed up my existence
now i sit here, and drag my ciggerate
and drink my tea
but do you ever really think im listening?
suggestions, conversate, repeat as neccesary.


American Idol, wow!

i am losing touch of my sanity
making an effort requires paitence
you've been gone two days and already i miss you.
i search through the house, finding things that are you.
the things you touch, the things you love.
and yet it doesnt soothe.
until i found the blanket that you kept in the study
and as i combed through it, to remind me of you.
i found the spot, where everything about your being was compressed.
and i smiled.

We could be so much better, if we just rid ourselves of this.

lets torch the house down
yeah lets get rid of the whole damn place
starving mouths hunger for self-gratification
and if need be, suicide in the form of ill-conceived choices.
a condom full of vultures clawing at your neck
yeah, decisions are getting a little bit easier now
and just think about what we did
yeah, we could of been 17
striving to be first, but finishing last.

Uruguay

I hear a whole lotta talkin,
but I aint listenin
and I see a whole lot of rubbih
but i dont fear nothin
and i hear a whole lot of waves
now i feel, something.


snowflake
cake
the back interior window
like a docile lake
and with a brush
it takes off
windows, now opaque
and to the widows
of trivial banter
we now leave
laughter, laughter.

The snow slightly landed on the ground.
And for someone who loves summer, it sure tore me up.
But then i stopped, and thought
what if I could make winter like summer?
and have adventerous nights, and social interaction
and feel like the winter was its own special season to myself
much like i thought about summer.
and although me and summer parted on bad terms
i am still finding it in me to welcome her with open arms
perhaps we can smooth over the blemshies
and she can take me in, and i can expereince a new
summer.
and so it began, i treated winter like my summer.
iloved waking up to frsh snow, and white skies
the cold was comfroting, if not incessant aftr awhile.
and then, like a flash, i woke up to nothing.
green, and blue.
it was summer.

Funky Fresh Voltron!

It's the fucking summer man. It's about 3pm, and we're driving down the street right?
We look over to the left, and we see him riding his bike... it's about 90 degrees out ok? And
he has fucking pajama pants on, with a white collard shirt, buttoned all the way up and his name tag on. And he has steel-toed work boots on, and he just looks insane. He's wearing a fanny pack for christ sakes.

Wow, what the hell did you say to him?

We we're just like "What the hell are you doing man?"

And he tells us he's just trying to find a pretty place to do his coke at. Says he wants to get destroyed, but preferably at a pretty place. It makes him feel better he says, about throwing his life away.

That's a trip.

I know. And he goes off to a park. Sits on a bench away from all the action. He's watching the kids play, and the moms and dads. And he starts crying. Crying because he wants to go back to that. All of that shit. It hit him like a tidal wave. Made him think about when he was young. So he opens up his bag, and just starts snorting. He's shaking. He's not stopping. He's going at it and at it.

Wow. I thought it'd have a happy ending, like he opened the bag and dumped it out, you know? Self empowerment bullshit, realised he was better then that.

Happy endings? Are you insane? Here? No man, this is real life. This is everything bad in life, multiplied by ten. You better get used to it man. Otherwise, it'll take you under.

Generally usless musings.

That isn't worth reading.

anyways

Elk Crossings

Scour through my soul, barren like a desert
Scour with a critical eye, an eye encased in an orb
Cnvassing the tundra in quiet excellence
Life in the arctic circle is opressing
Calendar days full of hollow promises, is harder.
You should of loved me.
We could of lived forever
The ice watchin our every embrace
The ice embracing our eventual collapse.

Pssh, Time for Jerky

Your trembling, why?
The beast moves through you
The beast moves through the shadows
Hold your existence close to your breast
Its preying on your weakness
Don't tremble.
Why be scared?
The beast moves through you a feeling akin to wind
Rain is beating about the pavement, but all you hear is silence
The echoes of long lost silence, slowly creeping up.
Your heart stopped.
Your trembling, why?

In Memoriam

In my dreams, I have you.
In my dreams, you're everything.

I love Cheetohs

If my heart stopped beating today
would you know that i've had loved you?
would you know of the plans i had?
if me leaving is the worst thing that could happen all day, then I'd say that's a good day
I leave on that.

DIRTY SANNCHEZZ

I formed an alliance with the people indigenous to the antarctic
They've sold all thier dreams
some for desire, some for pride
they've carved out places to stay
places they keep thier memories
they show us how it should be
and it's quite comforting to see them go
but it's fine because they come back every year
and until the die out and fade away, it'll always be that way
restless dreams do crazy things to people.

Uncle Louie

Ah, I remember the sick feeling I got in my stomach
when i see a pretty girl walking down the hall
it tingles but feels good
ah, love in 1977
butterflies, crushes and Rush.

I hate you.

I love-
whales hoarse roar tugs at your collar
I love-
lovers hoarse voice slams at your jawline
I love-
ocean spray splashing upon the shore
I love-
the pain rings true, although to no suprise
I love-
majestic summer mornings, each one more beautifully improbable then the last
I love-
thinking about her smile only makes it harder
I love-
cool summer nights, lounged under the splendor of the stars, like mediterranean kings of years past
I love-
ocean side property is what we all should be killing for.

All Aboard The Attention Whore Express: subtitle "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME"

Oh look at you, you little attention whore.
deriding everyone and everything from your self-made pedestal
when you've done nothing to garner it
you've made a choice? well thats fine. still no reason to be upon an unworthy pedestal
attempting to discredit your adversaries in numerous pathetic, unsuccesful ways
oh look at you attention whore! look how your pale lips tremble,
like a suckling
awaiting the tet of popularity
What level of pathetic is humankind capable of?
i think we found our answer here captain.

Memories of Fernando Sanchez: A Busboy

Rise! Save Yourself From This Cruel Fate!

My amnesia is restless. So dont be insulted If I forget you.
My insmonia, it's aches. I stay up at night.
I have no reason to cling, I have no reason to cling.
As such, I still do, I still do.
What good is it? Shaving years off my life to chase a hopeless dream?
But as such, I dont give up
My hands grasp my palpable personality that i carry around like a shield
to dream is to lust
to lust is to die in a pool of unfufilled fantasy.


Dance The Night Away!

In a world consumed by greed
im glad that stars are not for sale
the stars tell stories that go on for eons
stars have watched for centuries
awful horrible things that shall no be spoke of
the stars watched
remarkable achievments, pinnacles of human accomplishment
under the stars watchful eye
suspend yourself
even the maligned stars are more beautiful then damned city lights
restless lovers at sea, and in far away foreign countries
guided by stars, navigated by the stars watchful gaze
and as such, i lay content.

An Ode To Summer Vol: I

These pumpkins are growing far too fast, far too fast and too much
but it makes for an amazing view
When the sun sets the entire field is ablaze with beauty, for no ones interest
Remember those summer days, when we could appreciate no worries?
and run up and down the street
and we were in the suns good grace, so it didn't sleep until later in the day?
I do.
Streetlights were my guide.

l

A Movement In Seven Parts, With a Post Script

This is some of the stuff that runs through my head throughout the course of a day. I don't knwo if that's such a good thing, because now you guys are going to think Im a weirdo. Oh well, enjoy.


"The Prunes are just fine dear, Thank you for asking"

I am not impressed with your sense of clothing
fashion sense?
To avoid technicalites we can settle on that
Well my hearts grown colder
How so? Your collection of Hawaiian shirts is marvelous
I want something else, I long for more. Show me disaster.
Why not wait for summer?
Summer brings hope, waiting for summer creates anticipation.
I cannot deal with that.
Why not now? Why wait till then?
Somethings are better left unsaid
This is no exception.

Plyometrics, wow!

If this town got any colder, Im afraid my heart would stop
It's not enough that shes's here
I need more.
Her presence is like nails
found at the bottom of a fountain
Unexpected they are, but tis
how she works.
Intricacies woven together to form a bond
A bond that defies and causes lust.
How convienent.

Let us Tango till the Sun Comes Up

My soul drifts like the lingering trail of smoke
I wish I could find somthing to put stock in
Yeah I wish I could have it easier
East and West, The Horizons form
They are showing me the road,
Yeah, the road ahead is hard and troubling
I still keep on, keepin on.
I can still hear you.

I Dig You So Much, I Dig You Like Aquamarine, Baby

If I could write for you, I would
But I can't, No amount of cliche riddled banter could propely convey how feel.
CLICHE!

At Least I Trampoline Better Then You

The only thing I got going for me is ruining other peoples happiness
How come you only answer when your not around?
Coping with rejection is like putting on pants
Im so goddamned used to it, I walk around naked
let me channal bootsy
my drug of choice is you
feelin a little lost
sleepwalkin through the day just to get to you
take these ashy colored hands baby
let me build our home
we are happy, are we not?

I only Communicate Through My Lisp

Skin is smooth, with the finest color
Like a night sky viewed from the arctic
kissing lips makes for desperate times
desperate to hang on
so what if i like you more then i like myself?
You make me appreciate the beauty of skin
I never was good with talking

So This Is Winter, Huh?

Your eyes catch me like a ship alone at sea
I try to understand I changed it up
My priorities are you
My priorities are whats beneath that damned smile
ive tied myself up tight
I've lost the keen sensibilty I used to have
like appreciation for feeling your heartbeat
Ill keep dreaming

Post Script, Ad Nauseum

I'd kick your ass at kickball son
Oh yeah, you cocky son of a bitch?
yeah, put your money where your mouth is
My best friend growing up was Geronimo
My favorite animal was the tree in my backyard
Did i leave my soul in your hands?
The cupboard is bare?
How does that happen? How does one allow it?
fucking communists
I wish for the death of trendy social choices and scenes
smoke signals wispy smoke stretching upward
signal the end of an era
i hugged a shark.

Razor Ramon.

Ohh, Im mad and angsty.

Look at me!

Im giving up, just like everyone thought I would.

But wait no, everyone think's Im awesome.

I am good in my own way.

But it's easier just to give up.

What's the point of going on? Challenging myself? Proving to myself that I can succeed?

No, it's easier to say that I need to "find" myself, and that I don't belong.

Success takes work to obtain, but it's easier just to up and walk away.

I don't care about others, as long as it makes me content.

If only for a day.

Joliet, desperate youths.

1980

I realized something today, in a dull stupor. It was of the type of snow blanketing my town.

It was huge, individual, distinguisable flakes. Not the random blips and blobs of snow flakes that fall, that look like little white dots magically falling from the sky.

No, it was of perfectly distinguishable flakes. And it was beautiful.

Winter finally showed me the beauty it was capable of. And for a moment, I wasn't hating winter. I wasnt hating the uneccessary cold, the chilling winds, and the early nights. I was astonished by what I saw.

And for a moment, I stopped hating winter.