chapstik

Men

The night will go as follows...
fuck starry skies
fuck girls
fuck cops
fuckwet
fuck fall
fuck dark
fuck streets
fuck. fuck.

Bar Fight

FUCK THAT GUY
I hate him. Ill make fun of him all night, and shit, make him think im gonna kick his ass
"oh yeah?"

AND THEN HE'LL BE RIGHT, ILL WHOOP HIS FUCKING ASS

Manifest Ecstasy
I will never ask a question of myself I felt had no answer
shit.
answer,
shit.

my beer stained notebook.

ahh! adulthood.


Neustuff



Fear, Good God, Honest fear.


Hearing the city creak along at night,

well jesus, it's funny isn't it?

take a second to collect,

you walking in after a night of debauchery

jesus those 14 shots seemed so long ago.

did i really grope that?

pause, halt your smiles acension.

hear hear. the city, moaning. bleeding.

not sleeping.

the sirens in the distance

piercing the cool night sky.

home, and young.

home, and young.


To Do The Same Would be Doom

It's the same.

when im in my car. traffic.

same.

oh god, that feeling, of just compelte panic.

fear, anger, paranoia.

why am i wasting my life away?

shouldnt i, no i should i should
be doing

SOMETHING.


IWYTTIMUSOSOLZ

IN MY day, snow was snow

and when winter came, there wasn't guessing about if and when

it was when and when

mountains high, siberia in my backyard

slipping on ice, hating the cold.

god damned backstabbing bastard.


LOVES

when there's no way

to hide the desire

the one that burns, compels

fuels?

the one ,that makes you lightheaded

and just overwhelmed with giddiness

and delight upon one persons face

when you view them. when you view them

you melt. you love. you swell.

think of me,

sitting in front of this machine, with no deadline

and a flask almost certainley finished

now say, what do YOU think i wrote about
ps. john steinback,


A Letter To Ghosts.


Dear John,

Hanoi is great it is. Nights are awesome, lots of stars. sunrise, nice. sunset, perfect. people nice here, very accepting. they keep asking about you. i want to see you. as well.
plese respond, living is nice, but getting tough. fought 2 vagrants this morning. stabbed one. crazy. but, to get to the point, i need the cash. you owe me 56 bucks.

thanks

ps. young dreams, dont last forever. nothing does.


MOON\\

I shook the moon with my hand

and watched the majestic glitter

the reflection upon ocean current sky

i made it shimmer.
the night stayed true,.

revews

and it's weird.

all the leaves gone.

letting us see through the park, the landscape.

like a missle came, and ripped apart it's innocence.

we take what we can get.

who's to complain?

tonight i sleep above the creek.

i just want to forget.

convince myself it's really.

over.

skanks.

we're watching the leaves.

we're watching the trees.

we're watching the sky above, a river through the tree tops.

we're watching the drunk stumble in the city.

we're watching him.

we're watching the yards.

we're watching the clouds.

we're watching each other move away.

We're watching windows.

we're waiting.

Azure

I held in my excitement.

I sat and waited.

I no longer feel the need

if you have a need to, then you're missing the point.

it's gotta come naturally. it does

it still does.

Madrid, 1936

the bar was empty.

i didnt need company.

the smell is what i miss the most.

i welcome home with open arms.

for bleeding skies, and the sorrow of every cloud.

it bled on the alter, and i learned to forget.

the smell of fire, the rustle. the dark.

i missed it.

i welcome home now.

with open arms.

sleeping with both eyes open.

comfortable`

an ode to eve

every woman is built on a foundation of, pretty much suck.

you all do. you try to build a facade, a aura of right... the men you choose, the lives you lead, your daily actions.

all in an attempt by you, to do what's right for you. but upon review and analysis from outside sources, it sucks.

materialism. everyone woman, shallow.

and you are all so brain dead and mundane in your lives, it's downright sickening... you all settle for mediocrity labeled "ideal". wise up, raise up.

don't settle for trash. you are all worth better, all deserve it. even those who are cruel and whom karma would choose to be fed to sharks.

you deserve better.

don't settle for the asshole who calls you a dumb bitch, an asshole who is burdened by talking to you. assholes who lie cheat and treat you like a chore. assholes who don't appreciate, assholes who yell, scream, and fly off the handle over simple things. assholes who don't give you the time of day.

why lead that life? why chase?

is it because he's cute? because he looks good on your arm?

life isn't splendid when that's the case. any lifestyle characterized by that is ridiculous.

men aren't even worthy of you, so why lower yourself into mind numbing patheticness chasing something that will never afford you the same dignity and respect you deserve?

in a way women, you are my mortal enemy, and the most beautiful thing to grace my presence.

no excuse me, im going to turn homosexual and lock my self away due to embarassment, frustration and apathy.

i give up.

a collection of sexin' 1(one)

you'll never make it.

there's a song i think of when im anywhere

cold alone, fucked in the middle of chicago.

or cozy and warm in my bed.

it was a welcome feeling.

even when alleys threatened to harm me.

i didnt care.

winter was a son of a bitch.



Midtown

uptown was the makings of wealth

banks, apartments, sky scrapers, newspaper stands.

so i didnt visit much.

i was low-life, downtown type guy

never really acheived much

lackluster life style

the only thing involving me being a straight shooter

or having an aim that was true was

when id piss into stinkin gutters.

i got a postcard from Italy,

or shit, maybe Ibiza.

saving it.

saving it.

if i drink enough gin, it's the next best thing.


LaSalle.

i thought i was all used up.

i wasntso fuck.

the vcr is broken
i got a videotape
it's got memories, lots of em.

graduations, weddings, family reunions, baby video.
gone, if this fucking thing wouldnt work

tracking.

goddamn tracking.

an action packed duel with my vcr is what i enviosned on this summer afternoon.

Postcards.

Yes, I received your postcard.
No, it's not fine with me. (your decision with me)

but you do what you want, and as you please.
so who am i to interfer?

FINALE.

I watch conciensce and loyalty slip out of you.

like a gasp for air on the coldest winter day.